ADORABLE Success

So you might get the impression that I fail at a lot of things. Fine, you might be right. But, it's also true that misadventure is more fun - more fun to complain about, more fun to write about, and, hopefully, more fun to read about. If you know me very well, you know I'm a pretty harsh critic of myself so I am never fully satisfied with anything I make or do anyway. But I'm also the first in line to make fun of myself or anything that smacks of failure or tragedy. (My brother is the same way. The more devastating, the more we find to laugh about.) It's a twisted cycle but it keeps me entertained.

A couple of weeks ago, my brother and sister-in-law and their adorable little guy came to stay with us for the weekend. I love my husband's family. They are sarcastic, hardworking, thoughtful, generous - I could go on and on, it's really quite sickening. We had a great time checking out a natural history museum and watching movies and ...... making Twinkie Minions. I KNOW! Someone showed this pin to my husband:

And he determined that this would be the next project. He surprised me by bringing home Twinkies, black and white gel icing, and candy googly eyes.  

My sister-in-law, Liz, is just the best and she is always down for a creative adventure. We didn't have the ingredients for cupcakes so we looked over Pinterest for just Twinkie Minions and found this:

So cute right? Well, we didn't have all of that stuff either (ha, typical) so we found ways to improvise. We're like crafty MacGyvers. I'm really proud of our results:

I love them all but I think the last one is the best. Hilariously, he's the odd man out because we ran out of white frosting and had to improvise even more. It was so much fun to do this project with Liz and her kiddo, Atticus! It was way less fun to eat them. OMG America - I can't believe you were having a cow over Twinkies not being produced! Not delicious at all. But they make squealingly cute Minions, so it's not all bad.

A few more pictures:

Don't worry, Liz and I are the first to admit the teeth are creepy

XXXXXXXOOOOOO,

Melanie

Colorful fun!

So on the fun and crafty side, what have I been up to? Alex and I attempted a fun melted crayon project. So original, I know! But it seemed like a safe(ish) art project to do with Alex - a rowdy 2 1/2 year old. Of course, everything is an adventure at my house. The basic idea came from that project we all did as kids - crayon "stained glass." But I thought it would be fun to melt the crayon shavings onto canvases and hang them in Alex's room like Mommy and Me art.

 So, like this:

Plus this:

When will chevrons die? For real. Anyhoo, my husband's aunt gave us a ton of crayons that are all slightly melty and broken - PERFECT for this project. I was so excited to get started. I pulled out a couple of canvases, a hair dryer, some wax paper, the bag of crayons and a knife to shave the crayons. I am the best mom ever and I can't wait to show Alex. I sit him at the kitchen table and try to describe the project in simple terms. He really wanted to watch Yo Gabba Gabba or Dino Squad so he's not listening to me. Which is why it comes as such a shock when I pull back the paper and start scraping away at a crayon. 

*Gasp* "Mommy broke my crayon!" 

Now, I was the type of kid who tried to use my crayons evenly to maintain its shape, I never broke them purposely or peeled off the labels, and sharpening them was absolutely a last resort because it really messes with the integrity of the whole box to just start sharpening crayons willy-nilly. I am still that kid and Alex obviously has some inkling of my ... issues. So his mind is blown. But it's still not enough to keep him engaged. I kind of get him to focus on picking colors and occasionally sprinkling shavings onto his canvas but he loses interest pretty quickly. By the time my blow dryer suddenly burns out its motor (within the first 2 minutes of turning it on), he's already playing with cars in the living room. When I burn my finger on the iron I am using in place of the blow dryer, he is wondering when I will make him a peanut butter sandwich. 

Sigh .... Well, at least they turned out colorful and cute, sort of "Jackson Pollock meets preschool." 

We show them to my husband when he gets home. 

"Yeah. Mommy breaks my crayons, " Alex tells his father ruefully.

Gah!

XOXO,

Melanie

What's been going on?

Remember when I told you that I was a nutbar? My life completely reflects that right now. I don't mean that in a disparaging way (ahem - Shawn) but I do recognize that I like to overbook myself and then stress myself into a nap/coma. What am I up to now? Well, let's look at the projects that I've completed lately. I'll start with the experiments.

Orange peel cleanser, it just sounds good. Here is the pin, for your viewing pleasure and here is my picture of the half-completed project:

I am always excited about all natural cleansers and household stuff. We introduce a ridiculous amount of chemicals into our homes without a second thought because they are "cleaning products" - nevermind the list of unpronounceable ingredients and freaky warnings that are basically just a list of all the ways the product can kill or maim you. So I attempted this cleanser because it's just vinegar, orange peels, and rubbing alcohol; natural and yummy-smelling and super-effective by all accounts.

 I'm still not sure what went horribly wrong with my batch. 

Maybe it was the lid that refused to fit on the jar again, spinning endlessly like a stripped screw. Maybe I picked inferior oranges. All I know is that when I used the finished product, it was SO STICKY. I used it on tile floor to clean dog pee - rain is such a mixed blessing - and refused to re-clean the area for hours despite the tackiness because I was deluding myself with the idea that I just had to let it dry a little longer. Also, my husband has no faith in non-chemical cleansers and he was just a wee bit too smug for me to admit defeat right away. 

I also tried what's being touted as "Blessing in a Bottle" and "Tub and Shower Magic" on Pinterest. Here's just one of many pins. I didn't take a picture - it's blue foamy cleanser in a spray bottle, y'all; I'm sure your imagination can whip something up. Anyway, it really does work. It's an effective cleaner, particularly on soap scum. But, it smells like vinegar. Because it is. It's half Dawn and half white vinegar but your nose can't tell the difference between that and 100% vinegar, I guarantee. I sprayed the master bathroom with it late, late at night and then had trouble sleeping because that tart smell was seeping into the bedroom through the closed door. That is PUNGENT. So, use with caution. 

Perhaps I am a ridiculous optimist but, despite these results, I still want to make my own laundry detergent. It's so much cheaper! Unfortunately, my track record is hurting my chances on this one; my husband is not enthusiastic about the idea of whipping up a big ol' batch of mystery and unleashing it on our clothing and washing machine since we can't afford to replace either. So we'll see. He has agreed to the wool dryer balls though so there is an opportunity to redeem myself and natural alternatives. I'll post a picture when I have my dryer balls made, although, I am warning you right now they will not look as orderly as the ones in the pin. I'm also in the middle of making reusable Swiffer covers. And by "in the middle of" I mean "I have the fabric and the intention to turn that fabric into Swiffer covers. At some point. Within my lifetime. I hope."

Remember this picture? That, my friends, is coconut oil, cocoa butter, and shea butter whipped into an inferior beauty product. Oh yes. It was meant to be a gift for my lovely friend Erin who loves all natural products and appreciates homemade gifts. It's incredibly moisturizing and it smells great so I suppose, in that sense, it's a success. However, I don't have a whisk attachment for my mixer so the texture never did properly set up. The original pin called for just coconut oil but I added the thicker butters after spending 10 minutes whipping the oil into a thin sloppy mess. It sorta set up into an ok texture so I poured it into 3 baby food jars. I was almost hopeful! Then I put a jar in the bathroom while I showered and it melted. GAH! I still use it, even though it looks gross - a bit like semi-solid bacon grease - but I couldn't bring myself to give it as a gift. 

I know this all sounds like I've just been failing all over the place but, really, everything is a learning experience and nothing was expensive or disastrous. This is only the beginning of the projects I've been working on. Stay tuned, something is bound to go right. And if it doesn't, it just makes a funnier story and I'm pretty ok with that too.

XOXOXOX,

Melanie